


Dead Wrong

by nchi_wana



Category: Et Cetera (Manga)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mid-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-20
Updated: 2012-08-20
Packaged: 2018-01-03 20:56:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nchi_wana/pseuds/nchi_wana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benkate tells the story of how she died.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead Wrong

They’d been forced to camp out that night for an unusual reason, and they wouldn’t allow themselves to get any closer than one mile from town. The horses were loaded up and ready to leave that morning when Mingchao and Fino finally returned.

“We got them all,” Mingchao said with a huff as she stepped into camp. Baskerville, Benkate, Yaghi, and Alternate had already cleared the camp and had been waiting patiently by the extinguished fire.

“Took us till noon,” Fino said, her eyes dark. They flashed over toward Benkate. “Are you aware that you’re wanted in _five_ states?”

Benkate blushed sheepishly, her face almost turning as red as her hair. “Not really. I didn’t realize I was so popular!”

“I wouldn’t call that popularity,” Baskerville replied with a frown. “More like infamy. It’s a good thing we got out of town before anyone recognized you.”

“Those wanted posters were everywhere,” Alternate agreed.

“We tore down every one we could find,” said Mingchao, “but there might be one in the sheriff’s office.”

“And there’s no telling how many people have already seen those posters,” Baskerville added. “Some of them looked pretty old.”

“Aw, come on, guys!” Benkate said, trying to laugh it off. “I haven’t been out this way in a really long time! I doubt people think I’d come back.”

Mingchao pointed a stiff finger at her. “But you _did_. Now how are we gonna get to New York City without someone seeing you and wanting to shoot you?”

The gunslinger shrugged her shoulders. “I’ll shoot ‘em back.”

Alternate shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that. We want to get to New York undetected. It’ll catch the Syndicate’s attention if there’s a big ruckus over some famous outlaw.”

Benkate grinned at him. “Famous, you say? Why, thank you, Alternate!”

Yaghi, quiet up to now, said, “Yeah! She’s famous!” He gazed up at the female pistoleer with worshipful admiration.

“I didn’t mean it as a compliment,” Alternate grumbled. He pulled his hat down a little and looked away.

“Well, I suppose we should get going,” Fino said. “We _need_ to get into that town and get supplies.”

They put the rest of their belongings onto their horses and headed out. They held their breaths as they entered the small town, waiting to see if anyone would notice Benkate, but no one seemed to. Benkate was feeling quite bold that day and chose not to wear a disguise or put a hood over her head. If someone wanted to come after her, let them. She wasn’t afraid.

They stopped their horses in front of a general store and dismounted. Benkate strode in with them, and they began to sort through the shelves to find various necessities. Just as they were getting ready to pay, however, Baskerville called Benkate over. She went to stand next to him when he picked up a newspaper that happened to be sitting on the counter.

“I’m not sure what to make of this exactly,” he said, lifting the paper to show her. “I thought you said you hadn’t been around here in a long time?”

Benkate snatched the paper from his hands with a smug smile, but then her eyes went suddenly wide. “How—What—“

“It says you died.”

“I know that! But—“

Yaghi, having caught their conversation, zipped up beside her. “You died, Benkate?”

Benkate was speechless. The article was a small one on the front page, and it clearly said she had been killed in a shootout in the next state over. But she was very much _not dead_.

“Do you know what it’s talking about?” Baskerville asked.

Benkate continued to stare at the newspaper in disbelief. “Sort of…”

“What do you mean, ‘sort of’? Why would it say you’re dead?”

At this point the others had gathered to peer at the article, their arms full of supplies.

“What shootout is it talking about?” Yaghi asked. His eyes were lit with eager curiosity. “Did you fight bad guys? Did you win?”

“She obviously didn’t win because she died,” Mingchao said to him.

“I am _not_ dead!” Benkate said a little too loudly. The clerks in the store paused to stare at her.

“Then what happened?” Alternate joined, trying to get a look over her shoulder.

Fino glanced at the paper doubtfully. “Apparently someone didn’t get their facts straight.”

Benkate let out a long, tired sigh. Her shoulders drooped and she set the paper down. “It happened some months ago, before I met all you guys. News travels slowly around here, I guess. I was minding my own business in a saloon when these two guys started heckling me—“

“Were you wanted then?” Mingchao asked.

“Just let me tell the story! Anyway, I guess I stole a gun from the brother of one of these two guys, and he wanted it back; something about an heirloom, but like heck I was gonna give it back, so I told them to get lost or I’d kill the both of ‘em. Then they really started getting nasty. They wanted to duel me, but I told them I don’t work that way. I’d just prefer they shoot me then and there, but I could tell they were being cowards. They didn’t have the guts to do it.”

“So did they do it?” Yaghi cut in.

“They didn’t,” said Benkate, but her expression darkened as she remembered. “They appeared to give up and left the saloon, but I knew better. They were waiting to ambush me. So I left the saloon that evening before the sun went down, but I was drunk by then. I’d been celebrating the newest gun in my collection, the one they wanted back.

“I could hardly walk straight, but I knew where my hotel was. When I got there, those two guys were waiting for me. I don’t know how they found my room, but they were there, hiding under my bed. I don’t know how they fit under there, either, but they did. As soon as I stepped into the room, they crawled out with their guns pointed at me, demanding that I give them back the gun. I went to put my arms up like I was surrendering—“

“But you were reaching for your earring-guns, weren’t you?” Yaghi said with a knowing simper. It seemed he and Mingchao were the ones enjoying the story the most. The others just listened with mild interest.

Benkate smiled back. “I was. But they somehow knew what I was up to, so they shot me.”

Mingchao and Yaghi gasped.

“They killed you, didn’t they?” the boy said in horror.

Fino slapped a hand to her face while everyone else chuckled.

“They almost did,” Benkate said with a wink. “I fell back out the door, and crashed into the railing behind me. Down below was the front desk. I hit the floor pretty hard, and I didn’t move.”

Baskerville eyed her. “So you pretended to be dead?”

“I’m not done yet!” Benkate snapped. “So I guess they thought I was dead and ran out of the place. The next thing I knew I was lying in a coffin at the undertaker’s!”

There was a collective gasp from the others.

“Did they bury you?” Yaghi inquired again in fear.

Benkate lifted her chin. “Of course not! I got outta that box faster than a rabbit when he sees a coyote.”

“Wait a second,” Baskerville interrupted. “How could you end up in a coffin when you weren’t even dead? Didn’t they know you weren’t dead?”

“I honestly don’t know. Maybe I was in state of suspended animation.”

Yaghi was in awe of this new phrase. “You came back from the dead!”

“She wasn’t even dead to begin with, Yaghi,” Fino corrected him. “She means she wasn’t dead, but she wasn’t quite alive, either.”

Alternate stepped up closer beside Benkate. “So where did they shoot you?”

Benkate gestured to her left breast.

Mingchao recoiled. “They shot your _boob_?”

Benkate’s face flushed. “Not _that,_ you twit! They almost shot me in the heart!” She brought up her thumb and forefinger to indicate about half an inch. “The bullet missed it by that much, or at least the doc who pulled it out of me told me so.”

“It’s a miracle,” Yaghi said with wonder. “You’re a miracle woman, Benkate!”

Benkate’s pride swelled with his compliment, as silly as it sounded to her. “So that might be why people thought I was dead. Those idiots who shot me probably started bragging that they killed me, when perhaps the only person who knew the truth was the undertaker.”

Baskerville set his items on the counter. “Well, we’d better pay and get out of town while we can. If you stick around here too long, people are going to start figuring you’re still alive.”

Benkate sounded her agreement.

The store clerks came to take their payments, and when one of them went to tally up Benkate’s items, he said, “That’ll be six dollars.”

At first Benkate was going to protest, but then she thought better of it. She could’ve sworn she was spending at least twelve dollars. Why so cheap?

When she kept staring at the clerk, he said, “We give discounts for the walking dead.”

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